Gin Soaked Roses
by Sevick
Summary: COMPLETE! He broke her heart to protect her. Three years have passed and Kaoru's moved on. But even with a new name and new life, how will she handle his return? KK, AU, OOC Last chapter REVISED!
1. When Shadows Fill Your Day

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

A/N: Hey! Just wanted to say that Katie is NOT an OC (neither is Jake).

Katie - Kaoru

Jake -Kenji

(It will make sense later)

Chapter One

The TV was screaming into her ears. The scotch burned her throat. The knobs of the cabinets dug into her back as she leaned heavily against them. Her raven black hair flowed over her shoulder, so long that it brushed the wood floor. The tips were soaked in the gin that had spilled from the remains of the bottle, which lay shattered over the kitchen floor. She gripped the scotch bottle tighter, lifted it to her lips, drank the poison that filled her veins.

A movie was on. Something loud, dramatic. Explosions, gun shots, screams- or was that outside? A siren, fading into the distance. Her vision of the refrigerator sitting in stony silence across from her blurred, her thoughts jumbled into a haze.

The phone rang. With a groan, she pushed against the cabinets and rose to stumble towards the phone on the wall. Swearing beneath her breath as a shard dug into her foot, she reached for the phone and pulled it to her ear with a muttered, "Hello?" A dial tone practically shouted into her ear, and with a confused glance at the phone she placed it back on the hook.

The person on the small TV was talking on the phone. It had been part of the movie, nothing more. _The TV is loud_, she thought, crossing the room towards the remote on the night stand. Pressing a button, the woman on the phone was swallowed by darkness, drowned in the silence.

Katie glanced at the door to the bedroom. There were no stirrings, no small footsteps, no bed groaning as he climbed out of it. Jake was a sound sleeper. Even thunderstorms didn't rouse him.

She walked loudly back into the kitchen, setting the bottle of scotch on the kitchen counter. She went for the broom in the broom closet, mindlessly sweeping up the shards of glass from the gin bottle Jake had accidentally pushed off of the counter. He had trembled in fear of her wrath, but she had only soothed him with a kiss and sent him off to bed.

_This is what my life has become, isn't it?_ She asked herself, lifting her eyes to meet the dark brown gaze of the scotch. The bottle didn't reply. Dumping the glass shards into the waste basket, Katie rose from the kitchen floor and glanced at the clock above the oven.

She checked the calendar once more just to make sure she wasn't expected downstairs at the bar tonight. Tonight was her night off, the calendar told her.

After bandaging her foot in the bathroom, she changed into an old T-shirt and climbed into bed. The room fell to darkness as she flicked the switch on the lamp, the only light that of the streetlights outside. The sheets were cold, normally refreshing but tonight, almost chilling. Katie sat up in her bed, the sheets falling to bunch up at her waist. She leaned on her arms and blew bangs out of her eyes.

There was nothing to stay awake for, she told herself. With a sigh, she fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes. There was no hope for sweet dreams. Only nightmares.

_The Next Morning..._

Katie heard the bed groan slightly as something crawled beside her, small arms wrapping around her neck. A mop of hair was pressed affectionately into her face. She blinked, and opened her eyes to a mass of red hair. Wrapping her arms around her son, she sighed and pressed her lips to his head softly.

"Morning Mommy," Jake whispered, looking up into his mother's eyes. He was a duplicate of his father, rare amethyst eyes and thick red locks, causing so much unknown pain to his mother. Katie kissed his nose, smiling and whispering, "Morning". Wriggling out of her hug, he leaped out of the bed and went flying into the living room. _Every time I look at him, I_… She stopped her train of thought, climbing out of bed. Slipping into a pair of flannel pants, she stepped into the living room to find her son inches from the television screen, absorbed in a cartoon.

"Jake, you've got school. Have you had breakfast yet?" He pointed to a bowl on the counter, which had obviously been filled with cereal and milk at one point. "Get dressed then, honey." He pointed to the clothes he was wearing, which Katie had failed to see was his school uniform.

The minute hand crashed against the 12.

"Time to go. Dr. Genzai will take you to school now. Have a good day, Jake," Katie said, kissing him softly on the cheek.

"Mommy, I'm tired of being Jake. When can I be Ke-" She clamped her hand over his mouth, pulling him into her arms simultaneously.

"Please don't say that name ever again. You can't be that name ever again. Promise me you won't say it. Ever." Her blue eyes were wide as she stared into his. He looked up and nodded. His small hand reached up to cup her face, and he kissed her quickly.

"Okay. I'll be Jake for you Mommy," he whispered, before rushing out the door at the Dr's call, grabbing his backpack on the way. Katie leaned against the doorframe, watching his tiny frame disappear down the stairs at the end of the hallway of the apartment building.

"Look what you've done to us, Ken-" she stopped herself, eyes shifting nervously around the dimly lit hallway. "Baka." Tears threatened to spill over her eyelids, and she blinked furiously to fight them back. Slipping back into the apartment, she took one look at the half empty bottle of scotch on the kitchen counter and broke down into sobs. Collapsing onto the couch, she felt the tears fall from the corners of her eyes and slide down the side of her face and into her hair.

"Look what you've done to me," she whispered to the ceiling. It didn't reply.

_That night..._

"Mommy's going to work, Jake. Are you going to be okay?" The little boy nodded, pulling the covers up to his chins. Only his large violet eyes and his messy red hair peeked out from above.

"If I have trouble, go see Uncle Rob in the kitchen and he'll take me to you," Jake recited, and Katie kissed him gently on the forehead.

"That's right. I'm just downstairs in the bar, if you should need me. Good night sweetie."

"Good night, Mommy."

Katie closed the door slowly as she flicked off the light. Jake wasn't afraid of the dark, never had been. At six years old, he was very brave. Well, he has to be, Katie thought, grabbing her purse from the counter. He's been the man of the house since he was three. Akemi doesn't count, she thought with a snort.

The hallway was dark, the bulb hanging from the rafters having flickered out that afternoon. The light of the moon shown eerily through the dusty windows, making the shadows on the floor dance around Katie's ankles as she made her way to the stairwell. She had pulled her dark hair up in a ponytail on top of her head, and she wore her black uniform- a skirt and T-shirt that Rob, the cook and owner, had a creepy fondness for.

Her footsteps echoed in the stairwell as she gripped the railing. Her eyes darted back and forth, from shadowy corner to shadowy corner. The place at night had always given her the creeps.

"Katie, right on time!" Rob shouted as she made it to the bottom of the stairwell and right into the kitchen of the bar. "Misao's waiting for you out at the bar."

"Thanks, Rob." Stepping through the swinging door, Katie was met with the stench of alcohol and the crooning voice of the house singer, Melissa Something-or-other. She sang of times past and loves lost, while the people sitting at the table talked quietly beneath her high notes. Misao Makimachi, Katie's close friend and coworker, brushed past Katie as she served a beer to a young man at the end of the bar.

"Hey Katie," she said in her high-pitched voice, smiling brilliantly as her long black braid whipped around from the base of her head. She was very petite, though Katie wasn't one to talk, but very spirited and that more than made up for her height. Bouncing around behind the bar, she served a martini to a woman whose age Kaoru couldn't begin to guess, her face slathered in make-up.

"Hey Misao," Katie said, looking around for something to do. A man slid onto a barstool right near her, and Katie rushed to serve him.

"What's your name, Sugar?" he asked in a gruff voice. He grinned, his teeth yellow and crooked. Katie leaned in, smiling and winking.

"None of your business," she said. "What'll it be?"

"Her name's Katie Jones, if you must know. Here's her number, give her a call," Misao said, grinning and giggling as she held out a business card with Katie's number scribbled on it.

"Misao! I'm dating Akemi now, remember?" Katie yelled, snatching the card before the grinning man could grab it. He scowled but laughed in good spirits and ordered some brandy. Katie went to go serve it up, when she heard the hostess, Amy, talking rather loudly with a customer.

"I'm sorry, there's no 'Kaoru Himura' here. Yes, I'm sure," Amy said, her frizzy blond hair falling out of its bun as she shook her head. Katie froze, glass full of brandy in hand. She looked over to where Amy stood at the desk, but couldn't see the person asking about Kaoru. _I haven't heard that name in so long_… she thought, trying to get a glimpse of the person.

"Hey, Miss, my brandy?" the grinning man called.

"I'm positive, sir. There is no Kaoru Himura here. Now are you gonna come in and order something or not?" Amy said, hand on her hip.

"Miss! My brandy?"

"Fine, I'll check. Hey Rob, we got a Kaoru Himura here?" Amy turned to yell into the kitchen. Katie strained her neck, but the person was still out of sight.

"No, you lunatic. Back to your job, slacker!" Rob yelled from the kitchen. Amy scowled and turned back to the person who she blocked from Katie's sight, which was saying something about the person because Amy or her desk weren't very big.

"You heard him, sir." Apparently, the person left because Amy called out in a cheery voice, "Come again!" and the door pinged.

"My brandy?"

"Oh, here!" Katie said, slamming the glass on the bar, some of it sloshing out and onto the wood. She was about to tear off her apron and march over to Amy when Misao came at her in a run.

"I gotta go to the bathroom, Katie. Can you please cover for me for a minute?" Misao danced in front of her, a bead of sweat running down her forehead. Katie nodded and walked over to the newest customer at the bar.

_Kaoru… a name I hoped never to hear again. This can only mean trouble… _

"Miss! More brandy!"

_Later..._

It felt good to sit down and settle into the cushion of the barstool after her shift. She was numb to everything around her. The door pinging, Melissa singing, Misao saying goodbye as her shift ended. She fingered the bottle of beer in front of her, lifting it to her lips.

_My past is coming back to haunt me… _Katie thought, letting the liquid flow down her throat and settle into her stomach. _God, everything I've worked for- everything I've given up. Have they found me? Have they found us?_

"You bastard," she said out loud, slamming her beer down onto the bar. She had a particular baka in mind, one that haunted her dreams and tortured her heart. He had given her everything, but broke her heart in two, to protect her. "Yeah, right," she said with a drunken snort, the sting of the alcohol burning her nose.

"Who you talking to?" a soft voice asked, and Katie spun around to meet soft blue eyes. The brown-haired young man slid into the bar stool beside her, resting a hand on her waist and smiling.

"No one. Hey Akemi," Katie said, leaning forward to kiss him softly on the lips.

"I can't stay long. I've got a night watch tonight on the force. I just thought I'd visit my favorite girl," he said with a smirking grin.

"I better be your only girl," Katie said with a matching smirk, scooting her stool closer to his so she could hug him. Resting her forehead on his shoulder, she sighed as his hands stroked her back gently.

"You know you are." She lifted her head to meet his warm gaze, kissing him again. He looked down at his watch, scowling. "I better go. My partner, you know, Chad, gets all cross when I don't show up on time."

"Yeah, I know. Bye Akemi." She rose to say good bye, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him. She leaned her forehead against his, sighing contentedly.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay Katie?"

"Okay."

She watched his retreating figure leave the bar, the door pinging his final goodbye. She smiled wistfully and sunk back down onto the bar stool. For the few months she had been dating him, Katie really cared for Akemi. He was sweet, and knew she had been hurt in the past, and was patient enough to give her time. It had been hard to date again, her heart still mending from the last terrible break.

Minutes passed like hours, but she didn't feel like returning to her silent apartment just yet. She ordered another beer, running her finger along the rim. The door kept pinging, again and again, people coming in and out. Once again she was in her own world, staring down at the pattern of the wood of the bar.

_Kaoru…_

_I gave you up to be Katie…_

_I had to…_

_Kaoru…_

_Kaoru…_

"Kaoru…"

She froze. Her blood ran cold, her thoughts came in a jumbled mess.

"I don't know anyone by that name," she said, hoping it was a coincidence, a horrible coincidence.

"Sano said he saw you here. But that hostess said you weren't here. I knew better, Kaoru. I've come home. I've come home…"

It was a too familiar voice, soft and deep and enchanting. No, no, no! He couldn't just come back and ruin everything. She hated him, she had Akemi, he was a bastard and a liar and an idiot and everything horrible. He was the reason she was Katie, the reason Kenji was Jake.

There was nowhere to run. Katie turned slowly on the stool, to meet those deep amethyst eyes that haunted her and called to her.

"Kenshin…"

_To be continued..._

A/N: Hope you liked it! I just wanted to tell you right out that Katie wasn't an OC because sometimes people don't like to read about OC's. Anyway, it's supposed to be confusing right now- it'll make sense soon. Ooh, the mystery. Please review! I love hearing your opinions and comments. See you next time.

Preview:

"I told you to stay away, Kenshin!" Katie screamed, slamming the door in his face.

"I want to see my son, Kaoru." His voice came through the door, and she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Don't call me that!"


	2. Bring to Life Everything That You Fear

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.  
  
Gin-Soaked Roses**  
  
Chapter Two  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
His violet eyes roamed over her slowly, his crimson bangs falling against his forehead. He wore a loose t-shirt that was a reddish pink that she would never have imagined him wearing, along with jeans and dirty gym shoes. He didn't look a day over 25, though she knew him to be 34. He was as handsome as ever.  
  
Kenshin slid onto the bar stool beside Katie, glancing at the numerous beer bottles clustered together in front of her on the bar. He frowned, raising his gaze to her eyes.  
  
"You were never one to drink, Kaoru. Don't tell me I drove you to drink," he said jokingly, a small smile gracing his lips. For the first time she really looked at him, narrowing her eyes to truly drink in his form and features. They disgusted her.  
  
"Don't pretend everything's all right suddenly, Kenshin. You are not part of my life anymore," she whispered fiercely. Rising from the stool and hurrying behind the bar, she scurried through the kitchen towards the stairwell.  
  
"Kaoru!" His shout crashed against her ears, bringing tears to her eyes.  
  
"Don't call me that, you bastard!" she shouted, glancing quickly at Rob who just stared before rushing up the dark stairs.  
  
Kenshin leaped over the bar, scattering beer bottles and shot glasses, running into the kitchen only to be stopped by Rob's large arm. He glanced quickly over at the disgruntled cook, before disappearing before the man's eyes.  
  
"Hey, where'd he go?" Rob said to no one as he glanced around the kitchen, feeling the sudden breeze brush against his face.  
  
She heard his footsteps, quick as lightning but soft and agile, coming up the stairs behind her. With a small cry, she increased her pace. She made it to her floor. Her high-heeled shoes were awkward on her feet, and pounded against the ground as she ran as fast as she was able towards her apartment door. She heard and felt him come through the stairway door, as fast as he was when she met him, inches away from her.  
  
"Kaoru!" he called, reaching out to grab her arm.  
  
"I told you to stay away, Kenshin!" Katie screamed, slamming the door in his face.  
  
She heard him crash against the door, unable to stop. She tried to catch her breath. She leaned against the door, unable to stop the tears, waiting for his next words.  
  
"I want to see my son, Kaoru." His voice came through the door, and she felt more tears well up in her eyes.  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
"Why? What should I call you? And where is Kenji? Is he alright?"  
  
"Mommy?" a soft voice asked from across the room. Katie looked up to see Jake standing in the doorway of his bedroom, clutching his blanket to his chest. His red hair was in a tangled mess around his head, and his wide violet eyes stared concernedly at her, glazed over with sleepiness.  
  
"Kaoru?! Are you okay? Let me in!"  
  
"NO!" she screamed, sliding down the door and crying loudly. She felt small arms wrap around her waist. Jake was hugging her tightly, leaning his head against her chest.  
  
"Who is that, Mommy?" he whispered.  
  
"It's no one, Ke- Jake. No one." She nearly let it slip. How long had it taken her to finally get used to calling her son by a different name? In her dreams he still was Kenji, but in her life he had to be Jake. It was a matter of life or death.  
  
"Kaoru! Kaoru!"  
  
"For the love of God, stop calling me that! That isn't my name!" She stopped herself from saying 'anymore'. They could be listening right now.  
  
"What?" The voice was softer this time, but she could still hear it. It burned her ears, the familiarity of it. _Just go away. Please..._  
  
She sighed, deeply, the last of her tears dripping from her chin. _I can't run away from this. From him._ She unwrapped Jake's arms from her waist. Rising slowly from the floor, she told him to go to his room and sleep. He obeyed quietly.  
  
With a collecting breath, she reached to unlock the door. At the same time, she wiped the tears from her face as best she could. He was just standing there.  
  
"Come on in, Kenshin."  
  
He stepped into the apartment, glancing around slowly. It was pretty clean, she admitted to herself proudly. The liquor had been stashed away in the cabinet, the clutter organized in the hours when Jake was at school. Letting her hair out of its ponytail, it fell in a wave over her shoulders, and she slipped an unruly lock behind her ear. She gestured towards the couch, and he settled himself on it uncomfortably.  
  
"Why can't I call you Kaoru? What are you called?" His eyes were filled with confusion. She didn't meet their questioning gaze.  
  
"My name is Katie Jones."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
With the deepest sigh she may have ever heard, she settled down into the armchair by the couch, meeting his gaze steadily. He was breathless, hanging on her next words. She fought away the tears that came with just looking into those deep purple eyes, the same ones that lit up Jake's face.  
  
"It all began when you left us..."  
  
_To be continued..._  
  
A/N: I am so horrible at updating, and I apologize! I don't even have an excuse. I have a whole new plan for updating, so expect quick updates from now on. Anyway, I hope this installment answered some questions- most of the confusion will be dispelled in the next chapter. This story won't be too long, so don't expect an epic storyline here, but hopefully it is and will remain entertaining for you. Again, I live for your opinions, good or bad, and hope you will review. See you next time.  
  
Preview:  
  
"Baka," she said swiftly beneath her breath. "Baka, baka, baka! You think they left us alone just because you weren't there?"


	3. Let Me Enlighten You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

Chapter Three

"It all began when you left us. I tried to live my life the best I could, really I did. But you destroyed me, Kenshin. You _destroyed_ me."

"I'm sorry," he interrupted softly, his eyes on the hands resting in his lap. "I did it all to protect you. Leaving the syndicate, quitting my job as an assassin- it was all to protect you and Kenji. But quitting was never an option in my line of work. I didn't know that until it was too late." He stopped to look at her. She remained speechless. "When they started coming after me- you and Kenji too- I knew I had to leave. I had to leave to protect you." There was a seemingly endless pause.

"Baka," she said swiftly beneath her breath. "Baka, baka, baka! You think they left us alone just because you weren't there?" His eyes widened. "They thought we knew where you were, where you had gone. I wish I had. I couldn't defend myself- Sano tried for a little bit, but he had Megumi to take care of, her being pregnant and all, and I told him not to get involved. We survived for a time, them unwilling to hurt us for fear of losing your location, but eventually they decided force was necessary. When they hurt Kenji, we had to leave."

"I... I didn't know... I-"

"It's not _your _fault. We came here to Tokyo. We changed names, changed lives, changed everything. Do you know how long it took me to forget 'Kaoru', to forget 'Kenji'? Years, Kenshin. It took _years_. Or at least, it seemed like years. I don't know exactly. But I'm not Kaoru anymore. I'm not- so don't call me that. They could find us at any moment. I've worked too hard to protect Ken- I mean Jake. I've worked to hard to protect _Jake._"

The silence stretched on and on. Katie fought back tears from just remembering it all. Kenshin just sat and stared at the blank TV. Neither of them knew what to do.

"Mommy?" a soft voice reached their ears. Katie cursed in her mind and rose from the chair.

"Jake, go back to bed." He didn't budge. "Jake! Listen to your mother! Go back to bed right now!" He disappeared into his room, but it was too late. Kenshin could only stare at the closed white door, the thin plank of wood separating him from his son. He rose from the couch.

"He's... he's... so big," he said, his eyes moistening slightly as he walked slowly towards the door, staggering with the weight of his emotions. "So... much bigger than the last time... I held him." He stopped about three feet away from the door, away from Katie. He looked about ready to break down into tears. Katie felt tears threaten to fall just looking at the tender emotions crossing his face. "Has... he been healthy? I tried to send money, but they kept saying there was no Kaoru Himura in Kyoto. I said there had to be, but they insisted there was none. I tried to send all the money I had. Have you both been able to live okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper. He straightened up, meeting her tearing gaze evenly and obviously determined not to lose control of himself.

"We've been okay. I got a job down at the bar, and we've been fine." She took a breath that shook with the emotion that was stuck in her throat. She was too beat up by this whole night. "Look, we can talk more tomorrow. Do you have... a place to stay?" Katie regretted the words the minute they were out of her mouth.

"Kind of. I've been staying with Sano and Megumi and their little daughter, Mai. They miss you, Kao- I mean, Katie." He said the name strangely, as though he was forcing himself to say it. "You just left, without word or anything."

"I had to. Don't you think they would've followed, or at least tried to visit. I had to sever ties with all of my friends, just so they wouldn't get involved."

"I'm so sorry."

"Look, let's not talk about this. You can sleep on the couch tonight. But tomorrow, I want you gone. For good. No amount of apology can fix what you did to me and Jake, Kenshin. I just can't go back to where we were just like that." She turned away from him. "The bathroom's right here. And, I'm asking you seriously..." she looked at him square in the eyes, "don't go in Jake's room. At least not tonight, okay?" He nodded silently, as she disappeared into the bedroom.

She fell into bed, uniform and all, and cried herself to sleep.

_To be continued..._

A/N: Hi, everyone! Shorter chapter, I know, but lots of explanation. Sorry if it was a little boring, but I had to clear up the confusion. If you still don't understand something, ask me and I will reply personally. I do plan to reply to all reviewers at the end of the story, but I'll answer any questions right away. Please review! No one reviewed for chapter 2 and it made me so sad! The update will be soon, I promise! See you next time.

Preview:

"Kenshin, don't answer the phone!" Not hearing her, or ignoring her, he pulled the phone from its cradle.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Akemi. Who is this?"


	4. To Stand on the Edge of a Knife

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

Chapter Four

The sunlight woke her the next morning. Peeking through the wave of raven hair surrounding her, Katie looked out the open window to see the sun filtering in from low in the eastern sky. Still in her uniform and sprawled uncomfortably over the bed, she rolled over and looked up the ceiling.

Her dreams had been full of him. Him and their old life, the three of them together. She had met him in the streets, rescued by a terrifying yet thrillingly handsome "Battousai", who she instantly felt comfortable with. She began sneaking out to get a glimpse of him, occasionally needing his rescue. Annoyed by the barely legal teenager following him around, he confronted her one night in the streets. They had barely left each other's sides after that. Married when she was 20 and him 24, they spent four blissful years together, apart only when he went out to kill. Then they had Kenji.

Everything had changed then. For the better, yes, but Kenshin knew then that he had to abandon being an assassin. Many of his fellow syndicate killers were loners, no relationships and no families. Now he knew why. Making the daring but stupid move of quitting, it was not much time before they came to either get him back or kill him. They put up with it for two years, but when Kenji was three, he left. With hardly a note (a flimsy piece of paper with 'Goodbye. I love you.' written on it), he was gone into the night.

_Enough reminiscing, _she thought, scolding herself, rising slowly from the tangled sheets. She listened at the bathroom door to make sure he wasn't in there, then entered to take a shower. The water beat comfortingly against her bare skin, almost cleansing her of everything that had happened in the last 12 hours. She wanted him gone. She had just gotten over him, had just found Akemi, and was just ready to really forget him. And then he had to show up again. He had ruined everything.

Stepping out into the family room in a bathrobe, she saw him moving around in the kitchen, at the time his back to her. She smelled something wonderful, much better than the monstrosities she served to Kenji, herself, and the occasional daring dinner guest. _He always was a surprisingly good cook. _She stifled a giggle, attracting his attention just the same.

"Good morning, Katie." She felt her eyes widen. Apparently he had resolved to listen to her and call her by her 'new' name. She smiled.

"Good morning, Kenshin."

Someone poked around the corner of the counter. Katie stiffened and froze in the middle of the room. Jake giggled and ran out to grab his mother's legs. He pressed his face into her thighs and then released her.

"Uncle Kenny is making pancakes for us, Mommy! He says he's an old friend of yours," Jake said with a grin, before running back to help 'Uncle Kenny'. Katie was shocked.

"You could have told him the truth," she said softly as she walked up to sit on a stool at the counter. Jake was too preoccupied to listen, digging in the cupboards for a plate for the pancakes.

"I didn't think you'd approve of that, at least without you there to supervise. And besides, I didn't know what you had told him about me and my... disappearance."

She looked away and out the window. She hadn't really told Jake anything. He had been so young, asking about Daddy constantly until he figured out it only made Mommy cry more. He stopped, and supposedly soon forgot about the man who would scoop him up in his arms, spin him around, and shower constant love and attention on the little boy. Now, Katie figured he barely remembered his father, ironic though it was that now he was standing right before him.

The phone stirred her from her reverie. Kenshin reached to grab it. Katie looked at the phone lazily. _Who could it be? Oh no, could it be...?_

""Kenshin, don't answer the phone!" Not hearing her, or ignoring her, he pulled the phone from its cradle.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Akemi. Who is this?"

"This is-" She knocked the phone out of his hands, and it fell onto the floor. She quickly picked it up.

"Hi, this is Katie!" Kenshin stared at her, confusion and suspicion entering his eyes. Jake had dropped a large pan on the floor though, and it distracted him for the time being.

"It's Akemi. Katie, who answered the phone? It was a man, and it didn't sound like Rob or your friend's husband, that quiet guy." Katie felt a fearful sweat build up on her forehead. She couldn't lose Akemi now- he was such a wonderful guy.

"That was my, uh, brother. Yeah, um, uh, Yoshi. He's here from Kyoto for a little while," she said quickly, feeling Kenshin return his attention to her conversation.

"Don't lie to me, Katie. I don't care what you have to say, just don't lie to me. Please."

She took a deep breath and braced herself against the counter.

"It was... my husband, Akemi. Please don't hang-"

Click. Dial tone.

She placed the phone back into its cradle and leaned heavily against the counter. Tears blurred her vision for what seemed like the thousandth time in the last day and she willed them away. Kenshin was giving Jake a pancake and ushering him into his room, telling him he needed some time with his mommy.

"Who was that, Katie? Be honest."

Katie burst into tears, and nearly fell if it weren't for strong, gentle arms catching her and easing her down onto the floor. She curled into a ball and ignored the stroking fingers running through her hair. Once again, there was silence.

"It was your boyfriend, wasn't it? I suppose he wasn't too happy with your confession." Kenshin fought back feelings of jealousy and helped Katie sit up and lean against the counter.

"I... I didn't want him to know at all. He knows about you, but I didn't want him to ever know you came back. I'm sure he thinks we've just... forgotten the past and gotten back together again." She wiped away her tears and stopped the sobs before they broke from her throat.

They both said nothing for a while, just staring at the floor or the wall.

"Have you and he..." He couldn't say it. He wanted to know, desperately he did. It burned at him in ways he didn't think possible, more than jealousy and possessiveness causing him to break the awkward silence.

Katie knew what he meant.

"_I just... can't, Akemi. I'm sorry."_

_She was sitting on the bed, in nothing but a white t-shirt and her underwear, close to tears. He was standing across the room, angry at her sudden rejection in the middle of their... intimacy. They hadn't even gotten started yet, but he really wanted to make love to her._

"_Why, Katie? I love you, and this is the next step for us."_

"_I know that, it's just that... I guess I can' t hide it forever." She breathed a deep sigh. "You know that long, serious relationship I told you about. It was more than just a relationship. We were... married." _

_Something about that just made him lose it._

"_Goddamnit, Katie! You've been lying to me this whole time? If you can't be honest, I'm not staying here. Goodbye-"_

_She gripped his wrist tightly, a tear rolling down her cheek. _

"_He left me three years ago, Akemi. I wanted- no, I needed to move on. But I didn't want to tell you 'cause I thought you'd react just like this. Please, don't leave..."_

_His eyes softened and he came and sat beside her on the bed. Wrapping his arms around her, he sighed. He leaned his forehead against hers._

"_I'm sorry. I overreacted. Look, I'll wait for you, as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her, softly and gently._

"No, we didn't."

Relief surged through Kenshin. But he hid it from Katie, simply turning his gaze to her and smiling softly. She bowed her head, hair shielding her from his view.

"I wanted to. But I just... couldn't. I really did want to get over you. So badly, I did. I thought I had but..." Her words faded to silence, unable to find a way to explain all of this. It just hurt so much to have him back in her life. So, so much.

"I'm going to leave now. But I am not going to disappear from my son's life for good, Katie. I'm sorry, but I can't do that again. I've learned my lesson, once and for all. I'm going to be here for Ken- I mean Jake, and I won't take no for an answer." He rose from the floor and walked to the door. "Tell him Uncle Kenny will be back tomorrow, and we can go to the park. Please?" Katie nodded numbly, as Kenshin walked out the door.

_He's finally gone. Then why do I feel... sad?_

_To be continued..._

A/N: Yay! Longer chapter that time. I hope you liked it. Just in case you didn't know, the italics were a flashback. The ending is approaching swiftly, and I hope you all aren't too disappointed. Anyway, I can't _force_ you to review, but I can withhold updates until you do. MUAHAHAHA! (I'm just kidding, I won't do that). But I do really love reading your reviews. So please, for a poor fanfic writer, put in your two cents! See you next time.

Preview:

And in his hands, dripping blood on the pavement, was her heart.


	5. Pinch Me to Waking

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

Chapter Five

..._Dream..._

She heard a scream. It echoed in her ears and hurt her head. It was a shrill, wailing scream that pierced the night, a scream that was oddly familiar.

She looked down at herself. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and underwear, and nothing else. Loose rocks and pebbles stung her bare feet, and the night breeze was unrelenting on her bare legs and arms. Black hair down and around her shoulders, it swam in front of her vision, and she swatted it away.

Stepping out of the alley in which she stood, she walked down the sidewalk towards the scream, which barely lingered in the air. She barely heard her feet slap against the pavement, her entire being focused on finding the source of the scream. A few strange men ogled her from around corners and across the street, but she ignored their intense gazes. She was determined.

She rounded a corner and froze. There, in the alley, was Battousai, golden eyes glinting in the dark. Sprawled over the ground was a younger version of herself, black hair barely past her shoulders and up in a high ponytail. And in his hands, dripping blood on the pavement, was her heart.

She felt nearly ready to vomit, raising a hand to cover her mouth. Battousai turned to look at her. She gasped. He smiled viciously, and dropped her heart. It split in two as it connected with pavement, bleeding all over the ground. She lowered her gaze to his bloody hands, shocked as suddenly the blood formed a single red rose, which then became a real rose. He tossed it to her, and she caught it with ease.

As if someone else were controlling her, she brought the rose up to her nose to smell. It smelled like gin.

The rose disappeared suddenly. And then Battousai was walking toward her, carrying the two halves of her heart in his hands. Despite the horrible sight in front of her, she actually smiled.

Gold unexpectedly became violet, and she smiled even wider at his warm gaze. She watched him slowly, gently push the two halves together, and they were magically one again. She reached out her hand to take the heart, and he handed it over carefully.

And then their lips met in a tender kiss...

..._End Dream..._

With a gasp that sucked seemingly all the air out of her bedroom, Katie sat up straight in her bed. Sweat trickled down the side of her face, and her hands shook. She didn't know what to think, what to feel. That dream just numbed her entirely.

With a shuddering breath, she fell back into her pillow and fell asleep.

_That morning... _

She was woken by a loud knock at the door. With a groan she rose from her bed, threw on her bathrobe and walked out into the living room. _Maybe it's Akemi, _she thought with a hopeful smile, and walked a little quicker towards the door.

Opening the door, she saw nothing. Just as she was about to close the door, something caught her eye. There, on the ground, lay a single red rose. The coincidence of this and the dream was just too much. She turned away from the rose, closing the door.

"I need a drink."

Rummaging through the liquor drawer, she grabbed a new bottle of gin and ripped off the seal. The clock read 6:30 AM. It was Sunday, she reminded herself, so Jake would probably sleep in. Having gone a couple days without a drink, the alcohol burned her throat but still it was comforting. She slumped down on the counter stool, running her finger mindlessly around the rim of the bottle.

It wasn't long before she was completely drunk. Barely able to see and in a fog of alcohol, she just drank and drank.

_If he just left, everything would be okay. But he won't leave, wants to be with Kenji- I mean, Jake, and when he says stuff like that he means it. So why am I not more upset? My old self would have pounded his head in and screamed at him 'til he left. Am I really... am I really falling for him again?_

The last thought hit her like a ton of bricks. She couldn't love him again. Not again, not after all he had done to her. But he did it to protect her. But he still completely destroyed her and Kenji! No, not Kenji, Jake! Jake, Jake, Jake! What was happening to her?

The gin was her only answer. She gulped the last of it down, feeling the creeping of unconsciousness began to rip at the edge of her mind. She had taken one too many sips.

She fell away to darkness.

_To be continued..._

A/N: I know that was short, especially after the last chapter. But that dream was important and the plot development took a lot out of me. Also, it was a perfect stopping point. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please please review! I really appreciate it.

Preview:

"Kaoru, what are you saying?"

"I just... I just can't love you."


	6. Love is a Battlefield

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

Chapter Six

"Katie! Katie, are you okay?!"

"Mommy!"

The shouts came to her from what seemed to be a distance, through a foggy haze that clouded her mind. They grew louder and louder by the moment, accompanied by intense earth-shattering pain that spread across her forehead. Swatting away the voices, she moaned and held her head.

"Is Mommy going to be alright?"

"I think she is, Jake."

The second voice was _his. _The man who had occupied her drunken dreams, though she couldn't remember a single one. A cool hand ran over her forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat that pooled there.

She blinked slowly, the fog fading away to see two identical men, one small and breathing in her face, the other leaning over her with concern all over his face. Kenshin gently pulled Jake away from Katie, so she could sit up or simply move her head. She replied with a grateful groan, resting a hand on her forehead and lying back on the couch. _Wait. The couch? _She looked around, confused.

"You passed out and fell off the stool at the counter. Jake found you and opened the door for me when I came to take him to the park. We laid you on the couch." He spoke in a soft, gentle voice that didn't aggravate the pain searing throughout her entire head.

"Thank you," she whispered, ignoring the urge to slap him for touching her at all. Yet, she really didn't want to. She wanted to return that caring touch... "No!" she shouted suddenly, gasping at the onslaught of horrible pain. Thankfully, he didn't question her outburst as he lifted her up to place a pillow beneath her head and wiped away the gathering sweat from her forehead. He wiped the hand on his jeans.

"Mommy, can I go to the park with Uncle Kenny?" Jake whispered in her ear, and she couldn't ignore Kenshin's hopeful look.

"I guess so, maybe in a little while. After breakfast, at least," she said quietly.

"Mommy, it's after lunchtime."

"Oh." She closed her eyes, wishing the throbbing headache would go away.

"Go play in your room, Jake, while I talk to your mommy, and then we'll go to the park. Okay?"

"Okay Uncle Kenny!" She heard his small feet patter into his bedroom, the door closing behind him. Kenshin picked up her feet, and the couch shifted as he sat down and placed her legs on his lap. He rubbed her legs comfortingly, and she couldn't deny how good it felt.

They just sat there, not speaking, for the longest time. Her thoughts were filled with him, and what he was making her feel, and how she really didn't want to feel these things. She couldn't guess what he was feeling.

Eternities passed. She felt him take a breath to speak.

"I still love you, you know. I never stopped. The reason I came back was because I couldn't get you out of my mind. I told myself it was for the best, for your sake and Kenji's, and that I was being selfish. But at the end of it all I had to see you again. I still love you Kaoru. I know you don't love me anymore, _Katie_, but even if you send me away I'll still love you. Forever," he said softly, his voice gentle on her hangover. So many things shot through her at once. She sighed, sick of crying but feeling those ominous tears rise up yet again.

"You bastard," she said softly. "You've ruined my life, you know that don't you? You think you can just show up and I'll fall at your feet and forget everything you've done to me. I can't, Kenshin."

"Kaoru, what are you saying?"

"I just... I just can't love you."

"I know. I've done too much to deserve forgiveness." She opened her eyes to stare at his downcast eyes. "But that doesn't change the fact that I love you. And I always will."

"Leave. Now."

"Don't fight it, Kaoru. If you love me, you can admit it." He had risen from the couch but he knelt down beside her. She looked away from his pleading eyes. "I know your mind and anyone you've talked to is telling you to turn me away, to not fall in love with me again. But what is your heart telling you...?"

"Leave. Leave right now. And don't call me Kaoru."

His sigh echoed and crashed against her ears.

"Alright." He walked to the door. Her breath was stuck in her throat. She couldn't breathe, waiting for him to rush over to her and kiss her or walk out that door. "I love you." Waiting... waiting...

The door slammed behind him.

_To be continued..._

A/N: Uh oh, what's going to happen? It occurred to me that Kaoru/Katie cries a lot in this, especially in the beginning, and while I think she is an incredibly strong person and a kick ass character, I think anyone would cry on this emotional roller coaster. So I don't mean to offend any Kaoru fans. I hope you liked it. Next chapter is the last! Please review!

Gasp! No preview this time! Duh duh duh! (Can't give it away)


	7. A Rose By Any Other Name revised

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Sadly, I never will.**

**Gin-Soaked Roses**

Chapter Seven (Epilogue)

The willows danced with the summer wind, and the sun cast a gentle eye upon the earth. The park was full of playing children, loving couples, and barking dogs as Kaoru walked slowly along with winding path. Kenji tagged along behind her, pulling the little blond puppy he had received for his seventh birthday along with him.

"Kenji, be careful!" she shouted back at him, unable to resist a cheerful laugh. The name felt so right on her lips, back to the way it should be. After _his_ syndicate fell to the police… all the danger had been lifted.

She walked without fear, laughing as the puppy pulled Kenji along instead of the other way around. The two frolicked in the open grass of the park, Kenji playfully imitating the puppy as it rolled around in the grass. They had named the puppy Jiro after Kenji's grandfather, Kaoru's father. Kaoru smiled. Her father had been half of Kenji's namesake. The other half...

She shook her head. A warm breeze caressed her hair, which was pulled up in a ponytail like she used to wear.

Kenji's shout of laughter stirred her from her thoughts, and she turned to see him being chased by the puppy around the park. He loved being Kenji again, practically forgetting ever being Jake and never asking questions about the whole thing. It was confusing enough to her, let alone to a seven-year-old boy. As for 'Uncle Kenny'...

She sighed and settled on a bench that faced towards where Kenji was playing. He hadn't left her thoughts or dreams since he had left, two months ago. No one knew where he had gone and her heart berated her for being the one who pushed him away.

A flash of red…

She followed it quickly with her eyes, not believing what she saw. Jumping up from the bench, she glanced quickly at Kenji to make sure he was okay before rushing off down the path. The mop of red bounced in and out of the crowds. Unfortunately he wasn't very tall or else she really could have seen him in the sea of black hair. She tried to call out to him, but she couldn't find her voice.

Shoving through people and ignoring their annoyed shouts, she finally reached him, grabbing his shoulder. Time froze.

He turned around slowly, amethyst eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Katie…" he said softly, eyes darting away from hers to scan the crowd for lurking enemies. Kaoru took a moment to look back at Kenji, still running through the grass with Jiro. "I… I couldn't leave. Not after seeing him… after seeing you." His eyes danced with hope, his hands trembling with the urge to grab her. With a gentle smile, Kaoru looked up at Kenshin.

Love… not yet. The broken fragments of her heart still prodded painfully at her lungs and stole breath from her body with every moment she looked at him; but a second chance she was willing to give. And maybe, just maybe… with time… he could put her heart back together.

Without a word, Kaoru took his hand and dragged him out of the crowd towards Kenji. The little boy ran up to his 'Uncle Kenny,' dragging Jiro all the way on a bright red leash. Questions stormed through Kenshin's eyes as he gazed at her; her cold rejection of him two months ago still echoed in his thoughts.

"I don't understand-"

"It's a new beginning, Kenshin," she said with a smile, looking down to Kenji. She knelt down beside her son, dragging Kenshin down with her. "Kenji, honey, I'd like you to meet someone very special. This is Kenshin."

"I know him- he's Uncle Kenny!" Kenji shouted excitedly.

"When you met him a while ago, he was Uncle Kenny. But you were also Jake, remember?" Kenji nodded solemnly; Kenshin watched breathlessly. "Baby, this is Kenshin- your Daddy." Both redheads opened their eyes wide, but Kenji soon broke into a smile and threw his arms around Kenshin's neck, bouncing with happiness.

"I have a Daddy now!" he shouted with glee, while Kenshin looked up, confused but full of similar happiness, at Kaoru.

"Katie, I thought you didn't want me-"

"I don't." Kenshin's face fell. "At least, not the way you want me, not yet… But it's a start, Kenshin. It's a very good start." Kaoru ran her fingers briefly through his hair, smiling.

"And Kenshin? Call me Kaoru."

_The End._

A/N: Hello again, everyone! This is the only chapter I changed- it's been bothering me since I wrote it so long ago. For anyone new, the original had them kiss and make-up (very rush-rush; what can I say, I was sloppy) in like two sentences; it was rather unrealistic. I thought of extending it even further, but there wasn't too much to say. So instead, I changed it- now, instead of being instantly back together, Kaoru's letting him into her life once again; they're starting off slow.

Oh, and I know it's confusing, so- Kaoru and Kenji are back to their original names because Kenshin's syndicate was disbanded by the police, so there aren't any threats. But Kenshin doesn't know that (he knows about the syndicate, but not the names) so he wouldn't know to call them Kaoru and Kenji again. Hopefully it's not too confusing.

Thank you so much to all who reviewed and read my story- I appreciate it so, so much! And thank you for listening to my rant.

Sincerely,

Sevick


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